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As I’ve been now participating on the forums, since Bernard released the process update vids, I have been looking at how I write and how i choose the words that I do.

What I saw within what Bernard said about my fall within my process was that I have a tendency to reply and respond to others from the starting point of knowledge only. Meaning – I will take something that i ‘know’ like for instance – to transcend a patter all you must to is clear it in one breath – and the suggest that to someone else. However, I have not in fact done this myself. For me it has been a process and I have had a lot of assistance from others.

The point though is that I am now ‘restricting’ myself to only speaking of that which I have done for myself and proved for myself to myself. I mean, if i am talking about anything else, then it is just bullshit and it is obviously pretty arrogant of me to suggest to someone else something that i have not or am not willing to actually do myself.

and when i have fallen on this point it reveals itself clearly in my writing. and now that i am aware of it, I can see that this is a pattern that i have lived my whole life. one of feeling superior, ‘knowing more’. i used to argue with my parents extensively and they would tell me that I thought i knew everything. of course, i never saw this as a gift, but rather that they were just jealous and wrong. but that only validate their point.


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