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Reading sunette/dimensions’ post on anna’s crashing thread, i went back and looked at my latest posts to see if i was using another’s name to hide behind and to implicitly blame another for my falling.  I do not see that i did that, however what i did experience was fear that I might have.  I find that when I write it is still from a starting point of not quite being sure ‘what I am writing’. but this is obviously an excuse to not allow myself to simply see what my starting point. It is a way I can delay myself from having to actually face myself through my words.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of exposing myself through writing.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the judgement of others through exposing myself in writing.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that my idea of what is going on within my process is in any way real.  I will not accept that my mind definition of what I believe i am going through or experiencing is real. I will only accept that as real as what I am doing physically.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself for not being able to see all the consequences of my words and actions. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am not able to see the consequences of my words and actions.

i will breathe and I will consider the principle of oneness and equality, and I will not judge myself for making mistakes. I will not either allow myself to deliberately justify an inappropriate behavior as a mistake.  I will work with what is here, not with the ideas in my mind. I know that they ideas and thoughts will not allow me to see common sense but will only occupy me and cause me to abuse. I realize that it is not my thoughts that abuse, but me allowing myself direct myself according to abusive thoughts that causes abuse. I will not allow myself to place the responsibility for my actions outside of myself as: thoughts, feelings, emotions, other people, events beyond my control, money, preference.  I am at all times responsible for what I am allowing.  I will not judge myself when I make a mistake. I will however correct myself when i see the mistake.

I will not allow the emotion and feeling of fear prevent me from doing the physical activities necessary to continue my work and participate with those in my immediate environment.  I will not allow fear to be an excuse not to act. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use fear as an excuse to not speak and act as that which i stand for and as.  I will not allow fear to direct me or to be an excuse.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate others into taking responsibility for me. I will not allow myself to abuse others and have them take responsibility.  I will not allow my feelings of discomfort to be an excuse to abuse others or manipulate others into doing things for me or to take on responsibilities for me.  I will not use others as a means to make myself more. I will work with those in my immediate environment, and anyone else who is in agreement with me on principle, as one and as equals. I will not try to change another as an excuse an attempt to not have to change myself. I will no longer blame another when something doesn’t go the way I want it to. I will not blame or judge another when they do not meet the expectations that I have set for them. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to set expectations for another when I am not in fact supporting them to achieve those expectations.

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